LIVE:IWAP guest star: Roronoa Zoro!
by missDluvsIchigo0493
Summary: First fanfic eva! Imagine if Zoro from One Piece was being interviewed live on one of the most popular shows on tv. Well, on a live show I actually made up.. Kinda-sorta an ask Zoro...kinda..not really. More details in story. R&R and enjoy!:D
1. Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. This story is a work of fiction (duh fan fiction), any references to real people living or dead are used fictitiously and any resemblance is entirely coincidental. Now on to the story! XD**

**Hello everyone! I'm missDluvsIchigo0493 and this is my first fanfic! Well, I was bored one day so I decided to write a story, and I'm especially proud of this one because I **_**actually**_**finished!!! XDAnyways, the plot of the story is that there is this popular live show called LIVE: IWAP, and it's about interviewing cartoon characters and anime characters. Well one day, someone who was scheduled to interview cancels at the last minute, so they had to find somebody else quick and- You know what, I don't want to give any more spoilers, so just read the story! (There's an OC, sort of AU, and Zoro is not OOC)**

**LIVE: IWAP ****(guest star: Roronoa Zoro!)**

**Oh yeah, in case you don't know what certain Japanese words are-**

**Nanidogah: not 100% sure, but I think it means what the heck**

**Mugiwara: straw hat**

**Nani: what**

**Baka: idiot, moron, etc.**

**Oi: hey**

**ENJOY!!!**

**___ ___**

"_And we're live in 1..2..3.." _

"Hello everyone and welcome to **LIVE: IWAP**, Interviews With Animated People! I'm Constance Howards and with me today is the world famous pirate-hunter-turned pirate from the hit manga and anime series, One Piece…RORONOA ZORO!!!" _(the crowd goes wild and there is a huge round of applause!!!) _"Yes, thank you all very much! Now today, we have brought him here to answer some of the questions many fans have been dying to find out since the very beginning. Will the secrets of One Piece finally be revealed? Don't touch that remote, and stay tuned!"

_(45 minutes before the before the show aired.)_

"Constance! Constance! We have bad news!"

"Yes? What is it?"

"We're sorry but Porky Pig cancelled on us last night."

"WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME?!"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess word didn't get around…"

"QUICK!!! GET SOMEONE FAMOUS NOW!!! WE ONLY HAVE 45 MINUTES BEFORE THE SHOW AIRS!!!"

"We already did."

"Really? Who?"

"Roronoa Zoro."

"…Who?"

"Roronoa Zoro, y'know, from One Piece."

"What?"

"Never mind, he famous towards teens and young adults."

"Well, most of IWAP's ratings are towards that age group. Alright, we'll do him. Where is he?"

"Right here. GUARDS!"

_(In walks in two buff bodyguards with Zoro, who is sound asleep.)_

"THIS is Zoro?"

"Yep."

"I'm supposed to interview some weird-looking teenager with green hair?" (A/N: I DON'T THINK ZORO LOOKS WEIRD! HE'S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER!!!)

"Well, based upon what my 15 year old daughter told me, he is very calm, serious, and pretty interesting."

"Oh well, it's better than nothing."

_(Back to the present.)_

"So, Zoro-san," _(snoring)_

"Um….Zoro…" _(more snoring…)_

"ZORO!"

"Nanidogah?"

"Thank you for joining us today."

"What, where am I? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!"

"Ha ha ha…isn't he hilarious?" _(people in the audience laugh, Zoro gets this pissed look on his face)_

"Now, how old are you?"

"19."

"Really? Wow, you don't look like you're 19."

"Um…yeah, okay."

"So Zoro, how did you learn of the world's greatest swordsman, Hawkeye Mihawk?"

"Huh? Oh, I dunno. One day, I left my dojo to go into town to get some rum and while I was there, I overheard these guys talking about this famous swordsman named Hawkeye Mihawk. I asked them a few questions and, BOOM, there you go."

"Fascinating!"

"…I guess…"

"So, Zoro, do you mind being called Zoro?"

"Um…no, it's my name.."

"Amazing! So, speaking of names, did you know that some people call you Zolo thanks to a company called (censored)." (A/N: We all know it's 4kids, but they did so many terrible things to One Piece that I felt it shouldn't even be mentioned at all.)

"Meh. I don't care."

"I'm astonished My my, it seems as if you don't have a sensitive bone in your body. You're the 'tough guy'."

"Uh huh. Yeah, can I take a nap?"

"Not until we're done with this interview. We've still got about 45 minutes."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"So Zoro, many fans consider you to be the first mate of the Mugiwara Crew. Your response?"

"Nani? I have fans? But I'm a pirate! Hm...now that you mention it, I do kinda act like the first mate huh? Never really thought about it until now."

"Speaking of thinking, although you have many fans- in fact you consistently rank second in fan polls only behind your captain, Monkey D. Luffy- they can all mostly agree that even though you're pretty logical, intelligent-wise, well, you're not exactly the 'brightest of the bunch'. They say that on a scale from 1 to 6 on the intelligence scale, you're a 2."

"Nani? I'm the second most popular?! HA! TAKE THAT SANJI YOU DART-BROW COOKIN PANSY!!! Heh…Oi oi, whaddaya mean I rank 2 out of 6, and what does 'the brightest of the bunch' have to do with being intelligent?"

"Hm…I see what they mean...anyways I noticed that you called this person Sanji a "Dart-brow cookin' pansy'. Care to explain?"

"Ugh, do I have to?"

"It would be much appreciated."

"Fine. Sanji is this really annoying asshole who-"

"I'm sorry, but did you just call this Sanji person an-"

"Asshole? Yeah."

"Oh, okay…" _(sweat drops)_

"He's this really annoying asshole who is always flirting with women and thinks he's a prince. And he treats the ladies all nice and everything and treats the rest of us like shit." (A/N: This is Zoro speaking! I love Sanji!)

"Hm...sounds like you're jealous of Sanji."

"As if…you try living with this guy and you would understand. Oh no wait, you wouldn't cuz you're a woman. Meh."

"Hee-hee, this Sanji character sounds like a gentleman!"

"Whatever. On to the next question so I can leave."

"Which brings us to another question, why are you so angry, impatient, and serious all the time?"

"BAKA!! I'M NOT ALWAYS ANGRY ALL THE TIME!!!"

"Hm…sounds like you got angry just now. Have you ever considered anger management classes?"

"I JUST TOLD YOU I'M NOT ANGRY!!! I'M PISSED OFF BY THESE STUPID QUESTIONS AND I WANT TO RETURN TO MY CREW!!!"

"Um.. Okay…Tea Zoro-san?"

"Got any rum?"

"No."

"Fine."

_(While sipping tea.) _"So Zoro, you like to drink rum? Y'know that kills brain cells, right?"

_(Zoro shrugs) _

"And that's probably why you rank 2 out of 6..."

"Doubt it. A true swordsman doesn't let rum, booze, or better yet, ANYTHING determine what he is as a person or what he does in life."

"Strong words Zoro…" _(turns to the camera)_

"Well, this has been…um…inconceivable, ( to say the least) but if you think that this is the end, you haven't seen nothing yet! Stay tuned as we unlock more facts about Zoro and One Piece right after the break."

"NANI?! BAKA!!! I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY CR-" _("accidentally" cuts Zoro off to proceed with commercials)_

___ ___

**Well, you heard her! There's more where this chapter came from! Please review this chapter and read on to part 2 of Live: IWAP. (Hee-hee! I'm having too much fun with this story!)**


	2. Part 2

**Hello people and welcome to Chapter 2 of ****LIVE: IWAP (guest star: Zoro!)****! As I said previously, this is my first fanfic. (Well, the first one I've actually completed -.-…). Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed it so far and will continue to like it!**

**Japanese glossary:**

**Arigatou: thank you**

**-san: a way of showing respect to a adult male**

**Oi: hey**

____ ____

_(10 minutes of mind-numbing commercials later…)_

"Hello again from **LIVE: IWAP**, Interviews With Animated People! I'm Constance Howards and before the break, we received a dose of the life that is the famous one piece pirate Roronoa Zoro! Keep watching as we continue to enter Zoro to uncover yet even more surprising facts about Zoro, the Mugiwara Crew, and possibly One Piece in general!"

"C'mon! Let's get this over with so I can leave!"

"So Zoro-san, is it true that you invented the sword-style, Santouryu?"

"Yep."

"Impressive."

"Heh. Arigatou."

"How long did it take you to master it?"

"Well, I trained in a dojo in Shitmotsuki Village for about a little over eight years. Of course, I still train, so there hasn't really been end to how long I've been trying to master Santouryu. It could take years."

"Hm...wow, you're really committed."

"Yes."

"And from what I've heard, not only are you committed to your sword style, you're also very loyal and dedicated to your crew members as well. Like when you sacrificed yourself for Luffy's while in Thriller Bark and when you risked your life to save your crewmate, Nami from Arlong in Arlong Park. I heard that you lost 5.6 liters of blood! Truly amazing!"

"Yeah, I mean, we're like family, they're basically all I have, so of course I'll protect them. Any day. Besides, Luffy saved my life so I returned the favor. "

"That's really cool."

"Yep."

"So Zoro-san, fans have wondered how you have been able to talk with a sword in your mouth. Eiichiro Oda-san says that it's the will of your heart , but from a scientific angle, people say that it's ventriloquism. What is it really?"

"Um..well, I dunno. I never really looked into it that much. All I know is that when I realized I could do it, I thought it was cool and moved on to my next moves. Huh, you guys look into these things WAY too much."

"Um...okay, I'm sure that probably wasn't the answer fans had in mind, but based on your other responses to these questions, I really shouldn't be surprised. Oh well, on to the next question, when you were fighting Kaku in Enies Lobby, you preformed this attack you called Asura.."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"How did you transform into this…being with 3 heads and 6 arms?"

"Huh? Being with 3 heads and 6 arms??? What the…how the…HUH?!"

"Yes Zoro, when you did that Asura attack, it appeared as if you were this being with 3 heads and 6 arms (with 9 swords) just like the Buddhist deity, Asura."

"Really? That's cool!!!"

"Yes I suppose, but how did you do it? Was it an illusion?"

"I BET THAT PANSY COULD NEVER PULL OFF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"Uh-huh, well…"

"I mean I knew it was a powerful attack and had a great impact, but-"

"Um...Zoro…"

"Only a true swordsman could do something like that!"

"Um…yeah, but Zoro…"

"I wonder if Mihawk could create something as powerful as that!"

"Uh-huh…but what I think people would REALLY want to know is how you did it."

"Y'know he probably could, cuz he IS the World's Greatest Swordsman."

"ZORO!!!"

"WHAT?!"

"HOW DID YOU APPEAR AS IF YOU HAD 3 HEADS, 6 ARMS, AND 9 SWORDS!!!"

"Oi, oi, what's your problem?"

"JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION MORON!!!"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT!!! IT JUST HAPPENED!!! MY PRIORITY THEN WAS JUST DEFEATING KAKU AND GETTING THE STUPID KEY!!!"

"Ugh.."

"Is it time to go yet?"

_(Constance glares at Zoro, but he doesn't care.)_

"WELL?!"

"…Only 5 more minutes to go…" _(THANK GOD!!! Thinks Constance)_

"Alright, let's get this over with. Shoot away."

"Huh, considering the amount of time left, I think only a few more question are necessary. What is it like to be on the brink of death. It seems like in every major fight, you were close to death."

"I can't describe it. It's like time is slowed down and you have flashbacks and you feel really weak, but surprisingly calm. Or maybe that's just me."

"Really? Wow. So you've never seen 'the light'?"

"I don't really remember. But it feels good to be alive. Heh."

"Okay, two more questions and then we're done."

"Yes!" _(smiles his big cute Zoro-grin)_

"So, why do you sleep so much? Are you that tired? Or perhaps you have some sleeping disorder or REM sleep. I mean, you're the 'first mate' yet in still most of the time you're just sleeping or training while everyone else on board is doing something productive."

"Sleeping is good for the body and the mind, plus I rest up to save energy. Haven't you noticed that I'm always saving everyone? Well I need a lot of energy to do that! Also, I sometimes stay up at the crow's nest and keep lookout."

"Oh, ok, well that makes sense…I think…Last question: Are you really fascinated by sushi? I heard that someone had previously asked you this before and while you denied it, Oda-san said you were 'shaken up'." _(uproar from the crowd)_

"HUH? HUH? NANI? I…It's…IT'S NOT TRUE! I JUST NEVER TASTED IT ALRIGHT! That's all there is to it!! Time's up right? Alright let me go. My crew needs me!"

"Okay, okay. Just one more thing…"

"NANI? What is it?!"

"Before you go, what advice would you give to people who are trying to achieve their goals?"

"Huh…well the only thing I can tell you is to never give up, have confidence, don't let other people's opinions stop you and sleep as much as you can."

"Thank you Zoro."

"Yeah sure whatever. I can leave now right?"

"Yep."

"YES!" _(Zoro gets up and runs off.)_

"Um…Zoro…the exits to your left." _(laughter from the audience)_

"I did go to my left." _(points to the right)_

"Then go to your _other_ left." _(more laughter)_

_(Zoro blushing and cursing under his breath runs off to his "other" left to the exit and leaves.)_

"Heh-heh. Well there you have it! Thank you Roronoa Zoro for coming and answering our questions. I'm Constance Howards from **LIVE: IWAP **and I hope you enjoyed tonight's show! Drive safely and see you all next week when we interview Homer Simpson!" _(round of applause and a lot of cheering from the audience) _

_(Backstage after the audience has left.)_

"Wow Constance you did great!"

"Thanks. Um…Jerry?" (A/N: I didn't mention this in chapter 1, but Jerry is the guy from the first chapter who told Constance that Porky Pig cancelled and told her about Zoro.)

"Yeah?"

"Is everyone in that show, One Piece like Zoro?"

"No, actually, he's one of the mature ones. There are a lot of people crazier than him!"

"Well. That settles it then. Never bring me someone from One Piece again."

"But…Aren't you used to this sort of thing? I mean, you interview cartoon and anime characters for a living."

"Didn't you hear me? Never. Again." _(Constance glares her glare similar to Nami's angry glare)_

"Y-yes ma'am." _(Jerry sweat drops)_

**END**

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**Well that's it! I know it was shorter than the first chapter and most of it was Zoro and Constance arguing. I also know that I didn't really put in questions about One Piece or the Mugiwara Crew, in either chapters, but…I hope you guys still enjoyed it. Please RxR and until next time!**

***~* missDluvsIchigo0493**


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